kelvinawan

I am a very loving, friendly and sympathetic person. I am also a caring person, romantic, and trust worthy. I like travel and culture, I like history. I have a great sense and passionate into travel world. I am an educated person with sense of humor. I am very flexible and adventurous man who value a meaningful, and romantic relationship. Although, I would like to find someone really smart with interest similar to mine and with whom I have conversational chemistry that I can communicate with.

Fear of Intimacy Most of us profess that we want to find a loving partner, but the experience of real love disrupts fantasies of love that have served as a survival mechanism since early childhood… Pushing away and punishing the beloved acts to preserve one's negative self-image and reduces anxiety.

Our fears surrounding intimacy may manifest as concerns over someone liking us too much, an understandably irrational reason not to date a person. Or we may punish the other person by being critical, even engaging in nasty behavior, essentially making sure we don't get the loving responses we say we want. The reality is that most people can only tolerate a certain amount of closeness. We are defended about letting someone else in. In effect, on a deeper level, we don't necessarily want the love we say we want.

Our own defenses often leave us feeling pickier and more judgmental. This is particularly true after we've had bad experiences, where we were deceived or rejected by a person for whom we had strong feelings. Many women start to have thoughts like, there are no decent men out there or all the good ones are taken. Men may have thoughts like, you can't trust a women or Women are all out to take advantage of you. We may have unrealistic expectations for a partner or pinpoint weaknesses from the moment we meet someone. When viewing the world from critical or distrusting eyes, we tend to write off a range of potential partners before even giving them a chance. We think of dating certain people as settling without ever seeing how that person could make us happy in the long-term.