I'm happy to help with some editing--you have a great start here!
It took nineteen years to create who I am today. Within these years, I have been given the freedom to explore the world in order to satisfy my curiosity toward all the strange and wonderful things in the world around me.
I grew up in a healthy family. I had an elder sister and a younger brother and this made my childhood days more colorful. My parents both had stable careers and this provided us with more opportunities to learn what we desired to. I remember when I was a young boy my parents bought us a piano. I have been exploring music ever since my sister started taking piano lessons. This affected me so much that I insisted to my parents that I also wanted to learn piano. So I started my musical journey and continue it to this day. I finally completed my grade eight piano with a merit. After all the hardship I went through, success was finally shown in my result.
I did not end my music after I went to secondary school. There, I joined the Chinese Orchestra Society. My purpose in joining this society was to learn more about my own traditional culture's music. I took a position in strings and my musical instrument is named "erhu". It is a traditional Chinese musical instrument similar to the violin. Instead of having 4 strings, an erhu only has two strings which can also produce beautiful musical notes as a violin does. I absolutely love the erhu and I have discovered that with the my background in piano, I am learning with tremendous speed My teacher said that I am bestowed with talent and asked me to keep up the good work. My diligence paid off as I was upgraded from being a member of the orchestra to a concert master. I am very proud that I am able to take up the responsibility for the orchestra. This also proved that I can lead.
Besides having flying colors in my activity, I also do well in my studies. I applied for science stream in my secondary school and I am now pursuing a degree for electrical and electronic engineering under the American transfer program. After I complete my degree, I will have the opportunity to obtain a stable and challenging career.
I know that the road ahead will not be easy for me, but I cannot stop here. I need to move on in order to reach my goals. My success in the future lies in my own hands.
Although it may appear that I made a lot of corrections, some of the changes I made are really just optional ones, to make the writing show off your accomplishments to best advantage.
Best of luck in your studies!
lamurd26